Overview - Bank of Dick

A "financial institution" dedicated to confidence, certainty, and the appearance of expertise.

Welcome to Bank of Dick.

A financial institution dedicated to certainty, confidence, and the appearance of expertise.

We offer a curated set of insights and statements designed to help you feel better about your money — regardless of what your money is doing.

What we provide:

What to expect:

This site is updated occasionally, without notice, and always with conviction.

If you are looking for nuance, we recommend diversification.


Bank of Dick is a work of satire.

The articles, insights, and opinions expressed here are fictional and intended for entertainment.

No information on this site should be considered accurate, actionable, or advisable.

By continuing, you acknowledge that confidence does not imply competence.